I think this one's my favourite

I didn't?

You did.

I didn't?

What did I do?

You got me incredibly horny.

Did I?

Was that last night or tonight?

Last night.

Helped.

I bet when I went out I was horny.

You have nice tongue.

Yeah.

Thanks.

I've done okay, I'm sure.

Promise.

Yeah, don't tell her.

Don't kill yourself.

Okay.

I'm not in the same bedroom anymore, so I can get away with that.

Because I caught glass punching an Indian, I got kicked in.

Not good.

No.

I'm sorry, I'm mildly distracted.

Okay, bye.

I was in a bad, bad mood last night.

What?

A bad, good mood.

What the hell, Dickwad?

Ah, yeah.

What, you think I would have sent you what I sent you if I hadn't?

I just wondered.

Yeah.

Mildly aroused.

Just a bit.

You're sure you're on your own, aren't you?

I don't think I'd have done that in front of Mum.

I did wonder, actually.

Excuse me, Mother.

Hope you don't mind while I just masturbate.

You've got to sort your phone out.

Why?

Because.

Because what?

Because you need to be sending me the same things I send you!

Is that right?

Oh yeah.

I'm changing it soon.

Sorry, I'm being very wrong.

Mmm.

Oh dear.

Oh.

Go to a wife.

Oh, some more.

So, you want me cooking so I can relax?

...